Android to iPhone: I took the plunge.

So I moved from Android to iPhone recently. Why? I surely wasn't expecting to, I can guarantee that much. Here's the skinny: I have an old LG Stylo phone and it was running out of space, I couldn't update apps or any other shit. So I said hmmm, what don't I need? Aha! Facebook. I mean, fuck it, right? All that's on there anymore is whining or political bullshit. Oh, and holier-than-thou posts about how others should live or treat people. Well, fuck that, thank you very much. So I went to Settings > Apps > Facebook and… oh, you have to be fucking kidding me.

I couldn't delete it. Facebook made itself (see: paid someone off to be) part of the OS. Unreal. I could disable it, but then four hours later there it was, in my notifications bar, asking me if I'd like to find friends.

No, motherfucker, I wouldn't. Jesus, how creepy is this?

A quick Google search revealed some startling information, at least for me. Data mining. Selling info. Spying. Forcing you to play along. Welp, this sounds too much like bullshit to me, thanks, I'm out. I'm the type who doesn't mind, necessarily, the data mining and et cetera. It is what it is, you pay to play, nothing's free, yadda yaddda. That's a choice I have knowingly made for a while, admittedly. Besides, there's nothing juicy to find out about me, anyhow. I'm a nobody.

What I do not like is being forced. Into anything. I'm already fucking forced to work and pay bills and play nicely in the grocery store and a million other things — rules set forth by people I'll never meet. But when my own phone turns on me, I'm looking for the goddamn door. Stat.

So I searched for phones which did not force me to play along with social medial crap. Enter the iPhone. Okay, fine, Apple, let's give this a go. Since I wasn't sure I'd like the thing at all, I went with an iPhone 6, 32MB storage, running IOS 9, which I upgraded to 12 after a week or so. So far, my comparison list isn't big since I've only had the thing a little while and thanks to me having to fucking work to pay fucking bills, my screen time isn't quite what I wish it was, but here goes, anyhow.

PROS

        

• I really like the notification center. Clean, clear easy.        
• I like the swipe up menu for flashlight and the calculator and the other bits. Nice.        
• So far, every app seems to run faster, smoother, and has better features than on Android. I have yet to pay for one, so standby for that. Even the weather app is so far superior on the iPhone it isn't funny. So fucking easy to use and smooth as black ice.        
• I like that it wakes up when I pick it up. This may not be important to you, but I find it nifty as shit.        
• Scrolling is always smooth, everywhere. It just seems to generally "work" better than the clumpy feeling Androids I've had.        
• The camera. This deserves its own blog post. Seriously. It's so good it's unreal, I had no idea what I was missing. The original photos now seem to look a bit better than any of the available filters when sharing on Instagram. This is a huge plus for me, as I'm a shutterbug.        
• The size. My LG was really a small TV and, while that's cool for some things, it isn't so fun in the pocket. If I stick with the iPhone line, I'll surely get their bigger one but for now, this little 6 does me just right.        
• It has options, man, it has options. I can easily set recurring alarms, turn on or off notifications (and it actually fucking works, clear them from the lock screen, et cetera. I know those of you who are Appleites already knew all of this and yes, you can do most of this on an Android, but it's just not as good, not as smooth. As I go I'm sure I'll find a ton more customizable options.        
• The speed. While it technically *should* be comparable to my LG, it just isn't. It's an ass load faster. Probably the way it handles the OS. Granted, it's still a new phone, but the research I did before buying told me that they don't slow down. Apps open lighting fast, web surfing is hugely improved on Chrome, Google Photos just plain hauls ass.        
• The app store. It seems logical, you can easily get to the ratings and reviews and they have great descriptions of what you're looking at while on the page. Oh, it's also fast as shit. And because it's Apple users reviewing the apps, the spelling is gooder than the Walmart shoppers using Android.        
• The goddamn speaker actually has low tones. I was taken aback the first time I signed into Twitch to watch a feed I follow and the dude's voice sounded rich, low. The speaker is at the bottom of the phone but I can't really tell that while I'm using it; the sound seems to come from everywhere. Very, very superior to any Android I've ever owned or used at all. Miles away, not even close. A+ to Apple on this feature.

CONS

        

• I don't like the way it handles photos. It sorts them so that your most recent shots are waaaay at the bottom. What gives? I realize that this is likely modifiable and I'm a greenhorn, but I gotta hand it to Android for photo handling. At least at this point in the game. Plus I haven't explored how to make folders and albums, but I'm sure all that is there.        
• Good and true people of the world, those with morals and a backbone, skip this part if you want. I hate that I haven't as of yet found a way to surf 4Chan on the damned thing. Yes, I can find it on Chrome but it's… not the same as the Mimi I used to use on Android. A want an actual app for the place. That being said, all the time I'm saving by not surfing 4Chan is absolutely remarkable. And without Farcebook there to fuck my day up, I simply open up my Kindle app and read once I've seen a few Instagram posts. I gotta say, this negative turned into a big positive but still, we should have the choice to see 4Chan if we want. I guess.          
• No expandable storage. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, APPLE. This is Phone 101, bro. Give me the option to put in a 64GB micro SD card and go to town. Cloud storage is fine and dandy but… c'mon, now. It's almost twenty fucking twenty. Get on that bus and do it soon. I found this to be a real bummer although, we'll see. Again, this iPhone keeps surprising me with neat shit. I'll probably update this on my second useless phone rant which no one will read. Fuck me runnin'.        
• Getting custom ringtones is a pain. In. The. Ass. One has to download Zedge, get the shit they want, then connect to iTunes on a comp, upload, then redownload, sync — it sounds easier to get into a girl's pants for the first time than to make Turn Down For What my goddamn phone ringer. That being said, it really isn't tooooo big a deal. Just highly annoying.        
• I can't think of any more offhand. Really. So, as you can see, the cons list is… well, yeah, this all pretty much speaks for itself.

All in all, I'm an iPhone fan. I like the damned thing more and more each time I pick it up. I also realize that I'm reviewing a phone that is almost five fucking years old. Bear with me because as I said, if I like this thing as much as I believe I will, I'll upgrade ASAP.

Stay tuned, fuckers.