I got to thinking yesterday at lunch about this subject, as
I often have berfore, and it really does disgust me in a way. If you ask me, we
need to just completely do away with most the weird crap that goes on when it
comes to this subject. Ah, yes, marriage, for instance.
Take this scenario: An adopted boy marries a gal who is an
only child and last of a bloodline. Well, as per our silly rules, his last name
becomes hers. The result of this is that her last name is obliterated
completely in favor of a last name that isn’t even the dude’s real last name!
This is boggling to me.
I understand that you can opt out and go by whatever names
you like and all that, but traditionally, a woman’s last name becomes her
‘maiden’ name——does that tell you how old this rule is? Maiden? Truly? When is
the last time you called an unmarried woman a maiden? C'mon, now.
I guess I’m one of very few that thinks this is
preposterous, because I don’t ever hear anyone else complaining about the
subject. I, for one, would hate to lose my last name randomly because I decided
to be with a girl forever. I mean, not that I’m particularly mad about my last
name, which isn’t even *my* real last name, but it’s the principle. If one of
us has to lose it, it’s the female, because that’s the way it is. Man strong.
Roar.
What?
Is nobody else saddened a little by the fact that zillions
of perfectly good and strong last names have just hit the dirt over this dumb
ass system? How is it almost the year 2015 and we are still okay with just
changing our names over a marriage that statistically won’t last, anyhow? It’s
such a male thing to claim ownership of someone like that. You mine now,
last name same. Ooga booga.
We don’t fashion tools out of stone anymore, we don’t hunt
and gather in preparation for a long winter (because there are stores), and we
don’t knock a gal on the head with a club and take her to our cave when we want
to get a little action. Well, most of us don’t.
So why do we still go through the barbaric practice of
making women take a man’s last name when they marry? Easier on the tax stuff?
It’s ‘just what we do’? I can’t believe women haven’t made more of a stink
about this particular rule.
Carry on.
2 comments:
I think you kinda explained already why they haven't made more of a stink about it, because they just don't care as much as ooga booga men do. Men find importance in their name, and women don't (as a general rule). It could be conditioning though, women know that they one day are most likely going to change their name, so they don't get too attached to it. My wife was glad to get rid of her last name, but it WAS terrible...
Anyway, if a woman keeps her name, what last name do the kids get? Who decides that? (they can't just have one name like cats ;)
Our ALL cancer surviving writing friend uses her husband's last name as her pen name, because in real life, he took HER last name. She told us that on the forum a few years back.
Tradition is just a thang. My mom has been married three times (second husband died), but only uses her first married name legally as her last name because she had already established herself in business with her first married name, so she stuck with that instead of changing everything.
I think also when folks get married older and already have children and stuff, there's more of a tendency to keep your last name the same too.
There was a time when changing your last name was just standard, but these days, I don't think it is as much any more.
I hated my last name growing up. I couldn't WAIT to grow up and change it! Who knew all I had to do was become a writer?
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