Where were you?

 

Where were you?

Where were you, when I was drunk and shirtless, lying on the asphalt of a weed-infested driveway, in a puddle of beer and tears?

Where were you, when I isolated, cut everyone off, and was still met with Do More?

Where were you, when I broke, over and over again, confusion and pain and heartbreak ripping through my insides like lava through drywall?

Where were you, when life was changing fast and I wanted so badly to share it with you and grow with you and be with you and trust you and love you?

Where were you, when I spilled my heart out to everyone I know because I cared so much and it was affecting me so badly?

Where were you, when we were our safe place and yet, someone else was safer for you?

Where were you, when I was dreaming of our future and planning it and making big moves toward creating a real, out-of-this-world life for us?

Where were you, when I wondered why I wasn't good enough, a hundred thousand and a million times?

Where were you, when the sweet and deep red of love became the charred black of shame and despair as two people gave up on something special and rare?

Where were you, when the only reason I didn’t shoot myself was because I couldn’t figure out what to put on the suicide note?

Where were you, as my marriage fell apart and yours got stronger?

Where were you, as you cast me out of the same boat I arrived in to get you to somewhere else?

Oh yeah. You were with him.